It’s not secret that Americans aren’t known for understanding nor appreciating soccer. In the spirit of the World Cup, I’m trying to watch more soccer and figure out why this sport is so beloved around the world. Now that our cable finally works again (it was out for a month because the cable company never came to fix it), I decided to sit at home and see if I could figure out what the fuss is all about. Here’s what happened:
1:00 p.m. – The game starts on time. This always surprises me because nothing in South America runs on time. Maybe the World Cup is the only exception. I had already started making oatmeal cookies, so I put those in the oven. We don’t have a timer so I am using the clock on the game to know when to take the cookies out.
1:03 p.m. – Eating cookie dough and watching Messi. Both elements of a good afternoon.
1:15 p.m. – Curious about how hard the skulls of soccer players are. They hit that ball with their heads a good deal, and I am sure after a while that has to hurt.
1:20 p.m. – Still no goals scored. I take the cookies out of the oven, bottoms are burned, middle is not fully cooked.
1:21 p.m. – Argentina almost scores a goal, but the Iranian goalkeeper knocks it out. Still 80+ minutes of play to go.
1:27 p.m. – I start folding my laundry in front of the TV.
Cute Argentina fan (hincha in Spanish) Facebook sticker.
1:31 p.m. – This game is very boring. I really don’t understand the appeal of soccer. I have discovered soccer Facebook stickers, and these are infinitely more exciting than the game.
1:32 p.m. – Messi (the only player whose name I know) missed what I think is a penalty kick. The commentators call him pulga, which means flea. I cannot imagine he likes that nickname.
Sabella, looking sad.
1:38 p.m. – I really like when they show shots of the Argentine coach, Sabella. He always looks like he is about to cry, like a sad teddy bear or something.
1:45 p.m. – End of the first half. There are two minutes of extra time. I also don’t understand why the refs can’t stop the clock when nothing is happening.
1:46 p.m. – Someone has kicked someone else, so now Iran has a penalty kick (I think). They don’t get it in, and so the first half of the game ends 0-0.
1:48 p.m. – There is only a break at the middle of the game, which is my favorite part because there are ads. Think Superbowl ads but all about how great Argentina is. There’s an ad for YPF (National Oil/Gas Company), and it is comparing the oil workers as they start their day to the soccer players in the locker room. We are a team or we are nothing, the ad says.
1:49 p.m. – There are a lot of ads that feature the mothers of the players, particularly for food products. The one showing now features Messi’s mom and is for milk. There’s a lot of interesting gender stereotypes at play here—the mother as the nurturer and caretaker. Interestingly, the woman then would be the person who is responsible for the Argentine team. In all of the ads I have seen and of shots of fans at the game, there is a notable absence of women.
1:50 p.m. – Political ad with candidate saying how much he loves the Argentina team.
1:51 p.m. – Ad comparing life to a soccer game. The most important is to leave everything on the field. Of course this is a Coke ad.
1:52 p.m. – Quick recap of the game’s highlights. It’s a little weird because they have no goals to show.
1:53 p.m. – Oh this really cute dog food ad where the dogs are singing and playing soccer for the team. I love this one.
1:54 p.m. – Another ad with the mom of a player. Where are any other women??
1:55 p.m. – Wait, just saw an ad that had girls and boys playing soccer together. Ok, brings grand total of women in this broadcast to three. (Four if you count them playing the official World Cup song where Jennifer Lopez sings.)
1:58 p.m. – Another mom ad. Women count: 5.
2:03 p.m. – Game is starting again.
2:06 p.m. – The Wikipedia page about the Argentina team shows its different uniforms over time. This is more interesting than the game.
2:09 p.m. – I just realized that the goalies changed sides during halftime.
2:11 p.m. – Wondering what language the referees use when they talk to the players? Do the refs for this game know both Spanish and Farsi?
2:14 p.m. – Almost one hour in and still no goals. I can feel myself getting sleepy. Time to break out the Coke Light.
2:17 p.m. – Even the announcers are annoyed that no one has scored. Argentina has been close a bunch of times, Iran just a few.
2:25 p.m. – Why do the coaches always wear suits? They’ve got to be really hot, it’s Belo Horizonte, Brazil.
Sabella, not looking like he is going to cry, but still perplexingly wearing a suit. (http://www.rpp.com.pe/pict.php?g=-1&p=/picnewsa/965839.jpg).
2:26 p.m. – Iran is just the closest it has been to scoring. Argentina is a much better ranked team, I am unsure why they have been unable to score.
2:31 p.m. – Messi misses another penalty kick. 28+ minutes left.
2:39 p.m. – Seriously this is really not interesting. Getting up to do the dishes.
2:43 p.m. – Back in front of the TV. Thank goodness no one scored without me.
2:47 p.m. – Amigo, this is all bad, all bad, says one announcer to the other.
2:48 p.m. – Extra time, four minutes. Still 0-0.
2:49 p.m. – I hear screaming, this is troubling, oh wait, my TV has a two second delay, we finally scored, GGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL. (I too let out an audible yell; I waited almost two hours for this.) Good work, Messi!
2:53 p.m. – Game ends, and Argentina wins! Sabella says, All is possible with Messi.
(http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/75546000/jpg/_75546705_messi2.jpg)
What did you think of the game? Do you have a favorite World Cup memory? Leave your story in the comments below!